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It’s one thing if you give someone a second chance especially when it’s grounded in sound judgement, but it’s another thing when you keep returning to the same painful situation again and again and again, because you won’t let it burn and give your ego the opportunity to cope with and come out the other side.
The more you keep going back, is the more it will feel like Day 5 or 10 or 30 even though months or even years have gone by.
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It doesn’t mean that you erase all memories both good and bad, but what it does mean, is that you say goodbye to that chapter of your life so you can say hello to the next one. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
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Overcoming a breakup is hugely dependent on your self-esteem – you either need to have it, or you need to use the breakup as an opportunity to start developing it.
Chasing someone down will not give you self-esteem – it will break it.
From Day Zero of your breakup, in the seconds, minutes, hours, and then days and weeks that pass, you, by way of your actions and mentality, have an opportunity to limit the amount of pain that you experience.
8) How much time and energy is spent trying to have an illusion of control by tracking them on Facebook, Twitter, dating sites, or tapping up colleagues and mutual friends for info. 9) How much you occupy your life and how you cope with boredom, off days, conflict with other people – coming to a standstill, not having productive uses for your mind and time to reduce rumination, being unable to deal with the inevitable bad days and weeks that everyone has, and not being able to handle criticism and conflict, are often enough to trigger a fall off the wagon.
Learn how to deal with these and you won’t try to self-soothe on your pain source.
7) Whether you become trapped in and blinded by your feelings.
If you do things that you later view as at best embarrassing and at their worst humiliating, you may feel compelled to return to the relationship to justify your actions, which will actually only make things worse.
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Don’t engage in blame – engage in honest responsibility and accountability.