Dating success stories
The TV shows “Master of None” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” for example, stand out for pairing Asian men with white women.
“I know sometimes Asian men are not considered attractive, just because we don’t have many examples of Asian men in the media to be considered attractive,” Maltempo said.
This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.
Maltempo compared this approach to meeting people at a mixer, where you can gauge your chemistry with only one person at a time.
Compared with black, white and Latino men, Asian men receive fewer matches and messages from women on the dating site.
That’s not to say online dating can’t work for Asian men.
He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.
His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.
“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.“Even if you give them a little bit of room in terms of looks, that still leaves a really high bar for Asian men to be considered attractive at all.” To improve his success rate on Match.com, Maltempo created a rule for himself.Rather than cast a wide net, he would message just one woman per week.“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.
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Even though intellectually I knew it wasn’t true, but emotionally [I was] blaming myself for not meeting a seemingly objective standard of what is attractive.” MC Maltempo, a 36-year-old Korean American who grew up in Golden, Colo., also met his significant other online.